Stealing from the Food Bank

[It is December 15, 1999. David works for a dot-com company in El Paso, Texas. The corporate office is donating to a local food bank this Christmas, and David has bought some groceries for the occasion. He comes back home from the store around lunchtime one Saturday afternoon, and his wife, Violet, opens the door...]

Violet: Oh dear! That is a lot of groceries. Why, you have nearly two bags worth. Is this all for the food bank?

David: (His eyes dart from left to right as he stands still and sheepishly for a few seconds.) They were all going to be for the food bank, but we could keep some for ourselves if...

Violet: (Her eyes widen.) Are you crazy?! We can't do that. That would be stealing from the food bank!

David: (He ponders for a moment.) I question the logical coherency of that statement. Food banks give people food for free. Is it possible to steal something that's free?

Violet: I believe it is. You were not offered food from the food bank, which furthermore screens recipients for eligibility.

David: That is a clever response. However, we have not given anything to the food bank yet. Would we still be stealing from them? Or perhaps you suppose it is also wrong to steal from ourselves? (He gives a cocky smile, steps back, and crosses his arms.)

Violet: (She looks puzzled and angry.) I concede that it is not possible to steal from oneself. Pass me one of those bagels you just bought, before anybody sees!